So, here is the most important thing in this to me and what I want to ask anyone reading this.
Do you believe so strongly in your "family" that you are willing to throw away 16 years, almost 17 years with someone who will stick with you, on your side, all the time, no matter what, because your family is your family?
Or
Do you realize that your spouse is your family first now and that if he/she would do anything in the world for you and to see you happy and loves you more than anything and has never mistreated you, stick by your spouse over your family?
Keeping in mind that your family has almost always taken everyone's side over your own almost every time they have had the choice to stand by you and then chose not to. Well, that is how it is here.
Every time I had a suggestion or told the truth or whatever, my family took someone else's side if given the chance to, no matter what. They would do it again if I ever gave them the chance. Why should I even consider giving any of them the benefit of the doubt, when they do not do the same in return? I have been trustworthy and loyal to them my entire life. It has gotten me nowhwere but betrayed, stabbed in the back, pain and sadness. When I am around them it is like a never ending roller coaster. I am grown and have a family of my own.
My side is with my husband. The rest of them will have to live with this one or make peace on their own or come to me. I have always given in and always done the right thing to keep the peace, I am always the first one to seek a solution so everyone can just get along and I have become the family kicking post for it. I am tired of it.
If I could ever say anything to anyone out there who might read this:
Don't sell out your good thing for something nobody will ever appreciate. If you have a good marriage and your family does not like your spouse, and you are happy, don't give in to your family. Chances are, I believe, they are jealous and sinking and want to take you down with them.
Keep an open mind about things in order to see the truth and hear it. I was stuck in "my mom's the greatest, my sister's wonderful, etc my entire life. At the age of 33 years, I learned they aren't and woke up. My husband did not say much to me about it because he did not want to hurt me and did not want to see me separate myself from them because I love a lot.
Remember:
God, if you listen, can show you and tell you all you ever need to know about anyone. Including your family. If they are destruction in your life, separate yourself to the point that they are not all that matters in your life and seek peace in God. Only He can ever make things right.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
What do you think?
What do you think about Family? Well, family is important to me, but should you always side with your family, even over your spouse? Even if your family is wrong? Well, I have had a bit of a situation. I will agree, we were all at fault due to the fact we had all had a little bit to drink, but then things like this always happen. Here is, without telling the entire long story, what I am asking.
If a parent has adult children and a boyfriend the same age, who acts petty, jealous and very much like a baby and starts mess with your spouse, husband or wife, should you take your family's side just because they are your family, or should you choose to stand your ground on the side of your spouse, who was in the right? Isn't your spouse your family now, even above all the others?
My family has a bad way of believing in nothing but family. Or do they? I never get listened except by my grandmother when there is a problem. I voice my concerns for a long time about working with my sister at my mother's office where I have been working since I was 12 years old, and my sister jumps on me taking up for a guy, and I am an "idiot" for not being on her side, when the other guy, was 1) in the wrong in what he did, 2) is not family of any relation to us, 3) the other guy started crap, on purpose with my husband to cause a problem.
My sister physically attacked me for this in my grandmother's house.
I respect and love my grandmother very much. I did not want to tear up anything in her home. I got my sister in an MMA or Juijitsu style hold and took her to the floor to keep her from tearing up my grandmother's home.
Now, My mom, sister, and everyone else blames everything on my husband and treats the entire situation as his fault. THIS IS UNFAIR. Then they act as if I should be on their side instetad of my husband's side. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
If a parent has adult children and a boyfriend the same age, who acts petty, jealous and very much like a baby and starts mess with your spouse, husband or wife, should you take your family's side just because they are your family, or should you choose to stand your ground on the side of your spouse, who was in the right? Isn't your spouse your family now, even above all the others?
My family has a bad way of believing in nothing but family. Or do they? I never get listened except by my grandmother when there is a problem. I voice my concerns for a long time about working with my sister at my mother's office where I have been working since I was 12 years old, and my sister jumps on me taking up for a guy, and I am an "idiot" for not being on her side, when the other guy, was 1) in the wrong in what he did, 2) is not family of any relation to us, 3) the other guy started crap, on purpose with my husband to cause a problem.
My sister physically attacked me for this in my grandmother's house.
I respect and love my grandmother very much. I did not want to tear up anything in her home. I got my sister in an MMA or Juijitsu style hold and took her to the floor to keep her from tearing up my grandmother's home.
Now, My mom, sister, and everyone else blames everything on my husband and treats the entire situation as his fault. THIS IS UNFAIR. Then they act as if I should be on their side instetad of my husband's side. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
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